Hate the Heirloom.

            Young adulthood is a difficult time in any body’s life. It’s a time marked by blossoming independence, initial heartaches, and lots of good old parental conflicts. Aside from the everyday experiences of peer pressure, popularity contests, and simply trying to navigate through society, kids today are up against some hefty challenges. When you add being gay to the typical teenage challenges many gay children end up feeling scrutinized and carry a heavy burden of additional expectations and pressures. It's difficult to learn and become who you are when you know you're disappointing so many people, including your parents, in the process. When you're young and gay the pressure to be and feel loved and accepted is unbearable. Many times, because we feel early on that we have something we must hide, many of us repress not only our feelings but who we are entirely. This is the beginning of a long dark road. Repressing anything will almost always lead to a teen’s physical health being affected, their grades dropping, and in many times it may manifest as depression and/or anxiety. On top of the emotional weight, being introverted can also make a child the target for bullying or teasing. We all remember the stories of the merciless school bully... or being one for some and in the last couple years we have heard countless stories of teens bullying other teens to the point of suicide. 

I’m not sure why there was not more coverage over the incidents. Apparently the American media would rather play smoke screens than figure out why our kids are killing themselves at such an alarming rate. Nothing's been done. The media’s coverage in the past was narrow and people's lives were too easily forgotten. Where was the public outcry against the hate that made these kids feel like there was no hope? Who is going to take responsibility for this epidemic of discrimination and hate spreading through our schools and our nation? If things don’t change today kids will literally continue to kill themselves on our watch. Literally. They are giving up on life because we can’t seem to make a world where they feel safe and free enough to grow-up and become who they’re meant to become.   

What's worse? To know there are adults completely OK with segregating and demeaning other people and the fact that their ignorance and hate is handed down to their children is disturbing.  Historically, we've seen this happen again and again  Hate is passed on like an heirloom from generation to generation. Where do you think school bullies get their rage and lingo from? Someone has to tell you what the word “faggot” is and why or how to use it. It shocks me that people allow their kids to pick up their close-minded ideals. They approve the dislike of certain groups of people… as long as their gay people! Honestly, all types of discrimination and racism occurs every day to many different types of people. At one point or another, we've all been the target for misguided hate and/or bigotry. The cure? Truth and awareness. We need to start educating our children with facts so the cycle of world-wide discrimination ends already. Things need to change. We must bring back our hope for a better tomorrow and a peaceful future for our kids, for our neighbors, for us all.

LGBT Suicide Stats:  http://www.pflagnyc.org/safeschools/statistics

LGBT Suicide Hoteline: 866-488-7386 or  866-4U-TREVOR

"...But Lesbians are Ok."

          I always run into gay guys that tell me I’m lucky I’m a gay woman and not a gay man because it’s ten times harder to be an openly gay man rather than a lesbian. It breaks my heart because every time, I know they are right. It’s sad that in this beautiful country of ours many gay & bi-sexual men do not feel safe enough to live as fearlessly and openly as us lesbians do, or straight people for that matter! I have always been the type of woman to show my lover PG rated PDA. Holding hands, sweet pop kisses, and cuddling up in a theater are things all couples should feel free to do. Unfortunately, because of societies double standards, these little moments are not enjoyed by all and people all across the country feel the need hide the one thing that most people want to scream from the roof tops about. Even though being a lesbian may be "easier" we are all constantly on our toes and watching our backs as a community. There are always varying degrees of people who don't like us or don't understand us... nor want to. 

          It aggravates me when people say, “Lesbians are cool but gay men are gross or just plain wrong!” It confuses and amazes me every time! I'm like, Did you just hear yourself!?!? That's the most immature thing I've ever heard! It's practically hopeless because everywhere I go people LOVE to get into the “Gay Debate” with me. As if, suddenly, I was polling political views and opinions on the LGBT community! It’s like someone commenting or debating the fact that you may be a single mother or of mixed races! Like... HELLO!? Not only is it unnecessary, annoying, and frustrating, it’s off-putting and immediately changes the dynamic of any relationship. People like to put their two cents in when it wasn’t asked for and love to do so when it makes them feel superior to another. It happens far too often and I know not just to me. Too often people demean and look down upon others. They repeat stereotypes, untruths, and lies told by others about others, and it’s more than shameful! It's causing the breakdown of our society, our compassion, and our humanity. 

          What's worst is to hear grown adults speaking in such a juvenile manner around children! Kids of all ages repeat and believe what they hear, so the cycle of inherited dislike, disgust, and ignorance becomes a sad part of our history again and again. We’ve seen it happen before, encouraged by the governmental and religious hierarchies that govern our planet. Different groups and cultures have been oppressed and treated unfairly. Today the current social target is the gay community but the African-American still deals with prejudice everyday as do Jewish people, and others. There is bullying and targeting in the adult world... shocker that we have a problem in our schools. We as adults must think twice about the social concepts and ideas we hand down to our children. It’s not fair to them because at this point, many people have knowingly and with total consent doomed the next generation to bigotry and narrow-mindedness. We must teach them to see people for who they are not what they are.

          There are no fundamental differences between gay men and lesbian women. A homosexual is a homosexual regardless if they’re male or female. If you pass judgment on one of us you pass judgment on each of us under the LGBT spectrum. That’s why we refer to each other as family. In our fight for equality, understanding, and our safety… we fight side by side. That’s why I take such offense to the insults men and women think they can say around me because I’m a gay woman and not a gay man. Lucky for the unaware, I’ve been around enough to know that when someone says things like this, it’s usually out of immaturity, lack of knowledge, and/or personal insecurities. Most people are not attempting to morally weigh in how they feel about homosexuals, they are simply childishly reacting to some inappropriate visual they created in their head and it’s not right to judge someone off of the things you imagine they do in their bedroom. It's none of your business! If that was the case, I think most people would back out of a discussion and debate over bedroom lifestyles. It's time to set stereotypes and ignorance aside. Stop degrading and discriminating against our brothers, and uncles, fathers and friends. Each of us all deserve to live a blessed life full of love and laughter, family and support.