"...But Lesbians are Ok."

          I always run into gay guys that tell me I’m lucky I’m a gay woman and not a gay man because it’s ten times harder to be an openly gay man rather than a lesbian. It breaks my heart because every time, I know they are right. It’s sad that in this beautiful country of ours many gay & bi-sexual men do not feel safe enough to live as fearlessly and openly as us lesbians do, or straight people for that matter! I have always been the type of woman to show my lover PG rated PDA. Holding hands, sweet pop kisses, and cuddling up in a theater are things all couples should feel free to do. Unfortunately, because of societies double standards, these little moments are not enjoyed by all and people all across the country feel the need hide the one thing that most people want to scream from the roof tops about. Even though being a lesbian may be "easier" we are all constantly on our toes and watching our backs as a community. There are always varying degrees of people who don't like us or don't understand us... nor want to. 

          It aggravates me when people say, “Lesbians are cool but gay men are gross or just plain wrong!” It confuses and amazes me every time! I'm like, Did you just hear yourself!?!? That's the most immature thing I've ever heard! It's practically hopeless because everywhere I go people LOVE to get into the “Gay Debate” with me. As if, suddenly, I was polling political views and opinions on the LGBT community! It’s like someone commenting or debating the fact that you may be a single mother or of mixed races! Like... HELLO!? Not only is it unnecessary, annoying, and frustrating, it’s off-putting and immediately changes the dynamic of any relationship. People like to put their two cents in when it wasn’t asked for and love to do so when it makes them feel superior to another. It happens far too often and I know not just to me. Too often people demean and look down upon others. They repeat stereotypes, untruths, and lies told by others about others, and it’s more than shameful! It's causing the breakdown of our society, our compassion, and our humanity. 

          What's worst is to hear grown adults speaking in such a juvenile manner around children! Kids of all ages repeat and believe what they hear, so the cycle of inherited dislike, disgust, and ignorance becomes a sad part of our history again and again. We’ve seen it happen before, encouraged by the governmental and religious hierarchies that govern our planet. Different groups and cultures have been oppressed and treated unfairly. Today the current social target is the gay community but the African-American still deals with prejudice everyday as do Jewish people, and others. There is bullying and targeting in the adult world... shocker that we have a problem in our schools. We as adults must think twice about the social concepts and ideas we hand down to our children. It’s not fair to them because at this point, many people have knowingly and with total consent doomed the next generation to bigotry and narrow-mindedness. We must teach them to see people for who they are not what they are.

          There are no fundamental differences between gay men and lesbian women. A homosexual is a homosexual regardless if they’re male or female. If you pass judgment on one of us you pass judgment on each of us under the LGBT spectrum. That’s why we refer to each other as family. In our fight for equality, understanding, and our safety… we fight side by side. That’s why I take such offense to the insults men and women think they can say around me because I’m a gay woman and not a gay man. Lucky for the unaware, I’ve been around enough to know that when someone says things like this, it’s usually out of immaturity, lack of knowledge, and/or personal insecurities. Most people are not attempting to morally weigh in how they feel about homosexuals, they are simply childishly reacting to some inappropriate visual they created in their head and it’s not right to judge someone off of the things you imagine they do in their bedroom. It's none of your business! If that was the case, I think most people would back out of a discussion and debate over bedroom lifestyles. It's time to set stereotypes and ignorance aside. Stop degrading and discriminating against our brothers, and uncles, fathers and friends. Each of us all deserve to live a blessed life full of love and laughter, family and support.