Black & White.... The Expectations of Sexuality.

            When it comes to the issues of sexuality and sexual identity it's completely unrealistic to think that the issues are completely black and white. Still, many people believe that the lines of human sexuality are not only black and white but solid and obvious. They believe love and sex has one construction and arrangement, regardless of the fact that human history and society has proven this to be merely wishful thinking.  Many people can't wrap their minds around a sexual orientation or identity that isn't like their own. They can't understand how someone could possibly feel differently about sex and the expectations that go along with it. From birth we're all taught that straight people are the "norm" and majority. So, I imagine straight people never think twice about their sexual attractions and impulses. I gather this is why some straight people think we have chosen to be gay or live a gay lifestyle, as many put it. I always find that kind of ironic though, because if you truly subscribe to the idea that my sexual orientation happened by choice and not by chance, how is your being straight not a choice as well?

            It's obvious to me that people have unfair and irrational concepts of human sexuality and what is truly "normal" across the board. We were all taught the same foolish social guidelines in our early youth. We all knew early on what society expected of each of us young boys and girls. We were taught girls are soft and boys don't cry, ect... That turned into women are submissive and men are strong and dominant. As a man, gay or straight, you're expected to BE a certain way and like certain things. It's ridiculous! Personally, I believe there are many grey areas when it comes to sexuality and sexual identity and trying to compartmentalize and label people is unfair and unjust. There is a huge array of differences in our human personalities and societies. It's obvious to most of us in the LGBT community that people cannot be so easy classified.

            Differences in the human race are never black and white. Not even our ethnicity or skin color can be so easily identified and categorized anymore. Times are changing but the expectations of sexuality remain. That's one of the reasons I started this blog. To explore the world of what people expect especially in terms of sexuality and why. When I came out I constantly heard, "But, you're too pretty to be gay!" That was the first time I really came face to face with what people expected of me, especially in a sexual sense. It was sad. I've dealt with it since I was a young child into my young adulthood. I know I'm not the only one who can identify with these insane notions and contradictions found all over our society. At one point or another I'm sure most people have been afflicted by the expectations of sexuality. I'd like to take this forum to say that there is nothing you must force yourself to like or want because that's what someone expects of you. We must take the expectation out of sex and sexuality so people can be themselves, no pressure, no judgments.